Bard's prescient whispers

Gives fast-forward glance at life.

Is that all there is?

Shakespeare, quite eloquently, outlined what he

believed to be the seven stages of man's development

from birth to death. This famous monologue delivered

by the character Jaques in "As You Like It" was once

quite accurate in its depiction of the evolution of a

man's/woman's life but now needs another stage to bring Will's

sociological assessment into the 21st. century. First,

let me reacquaint you with the original stages:

"All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,

Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms'

And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad

Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,

Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,

Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,

In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,

With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws and modern instances;

And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,

With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;

His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion;

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."

While the above does a fairly good job of condensing

our evolution, in time lapse slideshow fashion, I

feel the need to squeeze in yet another stage that

should pop into the lineup between #5 and #6. The

pre-pantaloon stage might be referred to as the "self-

indulgent philanthropist", unfettered by trifles of home

and hearth, searching the cosmos for meaning, laying

down legacy like breadcrumbs on a path.

Will's take on the various developmental stages didn't

account for us lasting so darn long; didn't account for

pilates and yoga and organic lettuce and Viagra and

the middle aged renaissance/crisis. With Pantaloondom

on the horizon, I step into the new #6 spot.  Sorry Will

but I must keep a healthy distance from that "Sans" stage.

Phew!